Doom, Despair and Agony Week 10 MKMMA

What in my opinion should have been a very productive week turned south. I am feeling quite overwhelmed and disappointed. Like the path of hell, I always have good intentions.

I was excited to have this bye week to reinforce my learned good behaviors. Unfortunately, long hours at my job and overwhelming obstacles continue to take me off track.

On Dec 1,  one of my employees called off sick and I had to perform her work duties as well as mine. During the course of the day, I tore my rotator cuff. It’s been a long painful week. I can’t believe that I directly caused these events to happen because our subconscious brings about our reality.

How can I overcome these set backs and come out on top? Isn’t there something to be said that sometimes what you want isn’t necessarily what you get. Life has a way of rewriting your life path by unforseeable events.

The power of positive thinking can only get you so far. I have been focusing on positivity and love to rewire and fire my new way of thinking and yet here I am behind the eight ball. Am I truly the owner of my destiny? Time will tell.

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Humble and Sincere MKMMA Week 9

I have succumbed to putting my trust in MKMMA. I realize that there is a better way and a better life out there for me. I am experiencing the difference by forming good habits and remaining consistent.  I still have    more to accomplish. On the upcoming bye week I want to revisit the webinars and refresh/reinforce the workbook information.

With the hectic pace that I keep daily, I am feeling like I am being bombarded with a whole lot of material and I am not really processing the weekly lessons as well as I should. My intentions are sincere so I am going to continue to try to put forth my best efforts.

I spent my first holiday without my loved one.  It’s hard to fill the void but I must move forward.

By engaging in MKMMA, I have made a choice to redirect my life and way of thinking. I anticipate the moment where the work pays off and I finally have my Ah Ha! moment. Currently I am receiving subliminal messages from my inner voice telling me that  I must stay the course and cements these messages by giving me signs that I can not ignore.

I am on a quest to find ways to stimulate myself and gather insight from other participant’s blogs. We all seem to struggle with different aspects.  Others seem to have found this program working for them already. I hope to be lucky enough to get there soon in my journey. Looking forward to re-energizing myself in the upcoming week and preparing to be enlightened by the next section of the workbook. What wires together fires together! Amen! Until next time, peace be the journey.

Week 8 Serenity Now MKMMA

Negativity is all around me. So, I say Serenity Now!! I work in hostile work environment daily. I choose not to feed into it because, you know, I am what I will to be.

To date, this is the most challenging task. No negative thoughts or acting in a negative way.  But, I do want to share a situation that happened to me this week.  My usual HCR driver contracted pneumonia. He tried to continue to work, though his health was severely impacted.

On Wednesday he almost passed out and needed assistance to complete his route.  The following day his boss filled in for him.

I was at work bright and early. After unloading his haul for my office, he was getting ready to leave. I asked him if he was going to scan the truck. He said he doesn’t scan the truck. I grabbed the scanner and scanned the truck myself, without having any communication with this man. I did not want to engage with him because, he is always disagreeable.

The next morning, I expected to again scan the truck myself. To my surprise, without any prompting, he picked up the scanner, scanned the truck, and said I only scanned one truck yesterday.

All I could think of was OMG he must have felt my love from this months scroll readings.  Every time I want to give up on the MKMMA course something profound happens and I just can’t quit.

Something continues to keep me coming back for more. I don’t know if it’s Karma or my bliss wanting to be discovered and set free.  All I know is that I stay the course and continue the journey of self discovery.  I don’t want to fall off of the wagon. I want to take the whole ride.  Giddy Up!!

Week 7 Limbo MKMMA

Still not all in. Just saying. Disappointed in myself. I need an exorcist! When applying the new blueprint I can honestly say that I see the reality of changing my blueprint. I am still embroiled in a major fight with “subby.” He is a worthy opponent.

I still want to state the obvious. Time isn’t on my side. Overburdened, overwhelmed and just plain burnt out. I fight daily to form good habits. Keep consistent. Quitting is not an option. The time is now.

I dislike blogging. I am really not a social media person. I’d rather rant and rave in the privacy of my own home instead of visiting my feelings on others. Do it now! Do it now! I really need to turn this around right now. Eventually, if I do not consistently follow the program, I may not be able to recover.

I am not in a good place. I am still grieving. But, in this day and time, you can not truly grieve the way you need to, due to, time constraints. You must move on because you still have to go to work to earn a paycheck. So, you put your feelings on the back burner and continue to pretend that you are alright and everything is OK because no one cares unless they are affected or they have experienced your grief.

I say Serenity Now! I utilize this saying to calm myself and gain some peace of mind so I can concentrate on my inner peace.

I liked the reading webinar. He was a great teacher. I liked the chant, it kept me interested and on track. I intend to apply this technique to accomplish this skill to enrich my reading. The question is! Can I overcome “subby” and become the me I need to be? Time will tell!

MKMMA WK 6 Post-it-Notes from the Edge

Hello to all! Another challenging week for me as I almost quit. The pressure was getting to me and I have been stressing. Time constraints have been putting a damper on my spirit. Subby was willing me back over to his side. As usual, it was getting hard to resist slipping back into my comfort zone even though it is uncomfortable there now. I’m not the same person I was before I started this journey. Subliminally I am changing daily. It’s little nuances here and there that catches me off guard and I say internally to myself, “What the heck?”

I have to really buckle down or buckle up whichever one is happening at that moment. I have to keep my promises or I will never succeed. Procrastination is my biggest adversary next to time. My subby convinces me that I do not have to take care of things, that I can get to it later. Well, later gets later and later & I will get lazier and lazier which is not good.

I’m glad I had a heart to heart with someone that motivated me and gave me the courage to see this journey through. I hope I do myself proud so that in the future I will be able to be of value to new incumbents embarking on their voyage of self discovery.

Working on my movie trailer was kind of cool. It was neat incorporating the shapes in with the story to make the connections. I am looking forward to the next webinar so I can continue making the connections and having the next piece of the puzzle revealed. I am also going to make an effort to visit with my new family of masterminds and pick their brains to aid in my learning process. I could use more input from more than one source. Still living the dream.

Week 5 I’m Still Standing MKMMA

Man do I need a break. I have no time to do anything. I’m broken and tired. I refuse to quit! But doggone it if I don’t get some down time soon, I’ll be down for the count. I don’t think it is “subby” that’s causing me to think this way.  It is just poor timing. I really need this jumpstart to find the true me but, this is prime time at my job. Peak season with no letting up until January!

I haven’t “gotten IT” yet. I don’t know if I will, if I can’t compete all of the tasks as required. You work over 12 hours a day and see where you can fit crap in. Where? How? I don’t need a higher word count to rant and rave and feel sorry for myself. Getting to 300 is challenge enough.

I truly feel under the right circumstances I would be able to put forth my full effort and attention. Then, at the end of 6 months I would be my awesome me. Self aware, confident,successful and a model MKMMA graduate. Right now, I feel like I am gnawing off more than I can chew.

The only consolation prize that I am receiving is the gift of a great group of fellow human beings. That are struggling just like me on this journey. The unsolicited support is genuine and refreshing. For this is truly a gift.

My job situation is dimming my light daily. I want so much to gain some happiness in this world of strife and sorrow. At this moment in time it seams unattainable. I stay the course and find a way to embrace and achieve my bliss. Keep hope alive!

I need a personal trainer. Someone who can beat me into submission. I am still the weakest link.

Press Release

Interview With a DJ

I sat down with Janet Yarosik after a set at club Limelight in North Carolina. She goes by the name J Yo. The club was jumping with strong blends of R&B and ‘ol Skool. No surprise as I had caught J Yo in action at a few clubs in town and she never lets me down.  She knows how to bring in a crowd and keeps them coming back.

When did you start D Jing?

I started D Jing at the age of 17, at cellar parties in the late 70’s. My friends and I would gather at someone’s house whose parents weren’t at home and we would get the party started. I would spin the records that we were jamming out to at that time. Funkadelics, Bar Kays, Commadores, Earth, Wind & Fire. I could go on and on.

What or who were your early passions and influences?

I listened to two main radio stations when I was growing up. WDVE and WAMO. WDVE played Rock Music. WAMO played R&B and Soul music. I was the youngest of five girls, the oldest was fourteen years my senior. So I heard the Beatles, Beach Boys, the Righteous Brothers and James Brown, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Temptations and the Jackson Five. I had a wide music range at a young age.

What do you personally consider to be the incisive moment?

I would probably have to say when I was 21. I had an opportunity to shadow a known local DJ at the Riviera Club. He showed me the various equipment that he used and how to use it. He had (2) turntables, an equalizer and heavy duty speakers. He showed me how to cue up the next record to keep the flow going. That’s when I realized, “Hey, I can do this!”

What currently are your main challenges as a DJ?

Staying relevant and fresh. Making sure that I market myself in the right places. Sometimes I feel challenged being a female in this business. I don’t let that stop me. I have a dream and I have left my mark in this world of entertainment. I’m not done yet!

What do you usually start with when preparing for a set?

I introduce myself and get the crowd engaged by bantering back and forth. Then, I gauge the energy of the crowd and play selections that emit what I want the crowd to respond to. I just listen to my heart & soul and that is what makes things happen.

Penny for your thoughts now in this moment?

How many more questions??? Just kidding!