Week 5 I’m Still Standing MKMMA

Man do I need a break. I have no time to do anything. I’m broken and tired. I refuse to quit! But doggone it if I don’t get some down time soon, I’ll be down for the count. I don’t think it is “subby” that’s causing me to think this way.  It is just poor timing. I really need this jumpstart to find the true me but, this is prime time at my job. Peak season with no letting up until January!

I haven’t “gotten IT” yet. I don’t know if I will, if I can’t compete all of the tasks as required. You work over 12 hours a day and see where you can fit crap in. Where? How? I don’t need a higher word count to rant and rave and feel sorry for myself. Getting to 300 is challenge enough.

I truly feel under the right circumstances I would be able to put forth my full effort and attention. Then, at the end of 6 months I would be my awesome me. Self aware, confident,successful and a model MKMMA graduate. Right now, I feel like I am gnawing off more than I can chew.

The only consolation prize that I am receiving is the gift of a great group of fellow human beings. That are struggling just like me on this journey. The unsolicited support is genuine and refreshing. For this is truly a gift.

My job situation is dimming my light daily. I want so much to gain some happiness in this world of strife and sorrow. At this moment in time it seams unattainable. I stay the course and find a way to embrace and achieve my bliss. Keep hope alive!

I need a personal trainer. Someone who can beat me into submission. I am still the weakest link.


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I am a native of Pittsburgh, PA. Home of the Pittsburgh Steelers! I relocated to North Carolina in 2007.

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